tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-41770731542723942422024-02-07T18:34:54.839-06:00Confessions of a Debate NerdJust your average nerd trying to navigate life.Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01744889690503939568noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4177073154272394242.post-13919441746756732452012-09-30T12:53:00.000-05:002012-09-30T12:53:40.341-05:00My parents: You can be anything you want!<br />
Except that. And that.<br />
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Well at least I found it amusing.<br />
Anyway, life is good. Just busy.<br />
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I'm hating being in Arkansas already. I like the fact that I'm earning money but my family just annoys me ALL the time. And it NEVER stops.<br />
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Not to mention that I really don't get along well with my dad at all.<br />
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*sigh* I just want to go home.<br />
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<br />Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01744889690503939568noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4177073154272394242.post-55981586708076647662012-08-09T00:40:00.001-05:002012-08-09T00:40:45.408-05:00IgnoredFor some weird reason, I have felt completely ignored for the past three weeks. Like I'm just kinda here to help people and besides that, no one cares. Like not a single person could give a flying flip about me except what I can do for them. I feel like I have a stupid freaking hole inside of me and it's tearing me to pieces. <i>You're replaceable, </i>my mind keeps telling me, <i>you don't matter</i>.<br />
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Am I such a good actress that no one can tell?Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01744889690503939568noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4177073154272394242.post-2469067257393964882012-08-08T00:42:00.001-05:002012-08-08T00:42:15.352-05:00CreysNOTE: This entire post will pretty much just be personal ranting...I'm having a pretty rough time. So if you don't want to find out about my personal life, please don't read further. The rest of you....God help you all.<br />
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Okay, so I have a boyfriend. I love said boyfriend dearly but my family does not because of previous happenings. Every chance my mom gets, she "laughingly" or "jokingly" says that I should break up with him. Ha, real funny, Mom. But his family LOVES me and LOVES the two of us together. Now I know he doesn't have the best family life and I know that I disagree with his parents on a lot of things but, my parents acting like everything is just wrong and horrible and I will never amount to anything if I marry him is NOT helpful. I just feel like I'm being pulled in all sorts of directions and it hurts. BF hates my parents and the parents hate BF. And I'm stuck in the middle trying to mediate and say, "Hey can't we just calm down? Why don't we just start over? Do we have to call names?". It hurts. A lot. And it's exhausting. Do you know how discouraging it is to hear someone you love talk badly about someone else that you love?? And it's on both sides!!! All of them make assumptions about the other group based upon very little interaction. The only one I actually see trying actively to be better about it is BF. Granted, I think it's just cause he's afraid of losing me but at least he's TRYING. All I keep hearing from my parents is, "we don't want you as a pastor's wife", "God has greater plans for you", "you can't be with him long term because you can't be a pastor's wife". Who let them decide that? And who are they to decide that "greater plans" means I can't be a stay at home mom? Why couldn't I be a stay at home mom? Is it not an "important" enough job for me? I want to be at home and tidy up and take care of my children. That's what I want...not some sort of fancy business job where I constantly have to leave and go off to work and meet great and important people. I just want to be important to a few. That's all I want. To matter to somebody...I don't need to be the person to run the world.<br />
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I'm so tired. Tired of trying not to argue. Tired of comforting and being the mediator. Tired of being pulled in all different directions and no one ever asking, "Well...what do YOU want to do?". Doesn't that...matter? I mean, I know that we should obey God's call but...doesn't he want us to be passionate about it? I don't think God designed us to be miserable in our jobs or calling. Does anyone actually stop to consider that maybe, I'm just a people pleaser who just goes along with whatever's being yelled at me the loudest? That maybe, I need people to STOP yelling at me for once and just let me make a decision or two? That maybe I can be smart and diligent and responsible and discerning sometimes? Maybe I just don't because no one ever tells me that I do a good job. Yeah I get it. What's inside is what matters...but maybe someone can tell me that I did a good job or that I do good work or that I just did well. Something just like, "you did well in that round today" or "wow, you're so beautiful". Half the time I'm doing anything, I just feel so....inadequate and rather like a potato. I'm not really smart, I'm not that pretty, I'm not clever like other people. Ever since my ex told me that I was overweight, I constantly feel like I'm fat and ugly and completely without beauty. It's hard to get over something like that. But how do you tell people that? You just look like you're fishing for compliments or something. You can't tell anybody that.<br />
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I hate people. They're so judgmental and weak and emotional and selfish. They all just make me want to curl up into a little ball and stay there forever. If I could be okay not ever seeing another person again, I would never leave my room. They all want to change me...make me into something I'm not and, quite frankly, that I don't want to be. Can't anybody ever accept me for who I am? Crazy, weird obsessions and all? Why do my parents constantly have to make me feel like I'm weird and abnormal and that I should stop liking things that I do like? I wish I didn't care what people thought about me...but I'm a people pleaser. And so the vicious cycle goes on and on and on................<br />
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Sorry, this post was kinda rambly and super emotional and boring. I just had to get it all out.Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01744889690503939568noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4177073154272394242.post-19685039406601517252012-05-21T10:58:00.001-05:002012-05-21T10:58:52.389-05:00EverlastingGuess what ya'll? I have, once again, neglected my blog. That happens to be because I have been INSANELY busy with school, debate, friends, etc at college. Btw, LOVING Liberty. I'm so excited about the opportunities I'm finding through my family and friends. :) Also, I have a boyfriend. yay me. :P Yes, I know it's hard to imagine but I have indeed found a man I find worthy to be my SO. More random things:<br />- I like dubstep.<br />
- I still hate cooking but I don't mind BAKING now.<br />
- Sushi is apparently good. This is news to me and my taste buds.<br />
- I can't stay up past 2 am now. Sleep and I have become GOOD friends.<br />
- Makeup is less essential when you and sleep are good friends.<br />
- People are good but I can't eat a whole one by myself.<br />
<br />Anyway, the main point that I want to talk about in this post is about God. I'm starting to do a study of God and who He is. One aspect of that study is the names of God. Yesterday I studied the name "El Olam". It's only used a few times in the Bible but it translates to mean "The Eternal God". God doesn't change or end. He's always there and always the same. God isn't a pansy God. He isn't a minor God. He doesn't have limited powers. He is THE God. Everything that anyone has ever admired is God. If someone argued with Jesus, they would lose. Arm wrestling with God? Also a bad idea. God has a sense of humor...He created laughter, after all! He's wise. God always knows what should be done. Something random happens? Doesn't faze him! He listens to everyone's complaints and excuses and yet is never bitter, angry or annoyed. He doesn't give up. He knows our needs, emotions, desires, struggles, issues...All of it! He never leaves, never forgets, never ignores, never regrets. He is the embodiment of perfection; He IS perfection. He is all of that and will ALWAYS be all of that. It's amazing that He isn't finicky and doesn't change His mind. God is an eternal, unchanging, timeless, limitless, constant God. He isn't temporary, limited, bound, checked, fleeting or irregular. He is the Everlasting, Eternal God. :)<br />
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Katie<br />
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"But the Lord is the true God; he is the living God and the everlasting King. At his wrath the earth quakes, and the nations cannot endure his indignation." ~ Jeremiah 10:10 ESVKatiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01744889690503939568noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4177073154272394242.post-7899867988134029112012-01-03T21:34:00.000-06:002012-01-03T21:34:30.550-06:00Award! :DSo okay, I'm kinda late on this cause I didn't realize I had been given this award until....now. *sheepish smile* Well, all my interested listeners, I have been awarded this by a fellow Sparkler:<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAd3QRwyoOykxFOOGrqX_FOh2JewxboBRSAgRwDOSB5c5lt2aPeGcKme-6hdB4UUiF3r9ozxPTmN_QX2KKwYYP-ZRQ3LPk0Ab7Lp5OtdxcI0tKyjjlhiDLouqUoH2WKY1gr7Vd5b6bXw/s1600/Liebster+Blog+Award.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAd3QRwyoOykxFOOGrqX_FOh2JewxboBRSAgRwDOSB5c5lt2aPeGcKme-6hdB4UUiF3r9ozxPTmN_QX2KKwYYP-ZRQ3LPk0Ab7Lp5OtdxcI0tKyjjlhiDLouqUoH2WKY1gr7Vd5b6bXw/s1600/Liebster+Blog+Award.jpg" /></a></div>THE LIEBSTER BLOG AWARD! YAY! IM SO EXCITED! I'VE WANTED THIS MY ENTIRE LIFE! What is it?.........................well okay I don't know. I'm guessing it means I'm awesome. Anyway, I am apparently supposed to post seven things about myself and then tag seven blogs that I love. So here goes:<br />
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1. I'm awesome.<br />
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2. I'm a debate nerd.<br />
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3. I cried when Oromis died in <i>Brisingr</i>.<br />
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4. I know both dialects of Elvish.<br />
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5. I have a deep-seated fear of the mirror in Snow White.<br />
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6. I am, quite possibly, the loudest person you'll ever meet. <br />
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7. I procrastinate like a pro.<br />
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Seven blogs that are awesome:<br />
1. <a href="http://doctorlongscarf.blogspot.com/">The Doctor Longscarf Blog</a>: it's an entire blog about Doctor Who. Who wouldn't love it?<br />
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2. <a href="http://thinkthunks.blogspot.com/">Think Thunks</a>: interesting analysis of songs and movies.<br />
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3. <a href="http://dkkaleallerion.blogspot.com/">Stories from the Life of a People Lovin' Bookworm</a>: Um hello, it's full of stories. AWESOME.<br />
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4. <a href="http://eclecticsandeccentrics.blogspot.com/">Eclectics and Eccentrics</a>: Fun randomness<br />
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5. <a href="http://ourradicalloveblog.blogspot.com/">Radical Love</a>: An absolutely inspiring blog with encouragement for every young lady out there.<br />
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6. <a href="http://shrimpinabasket.blogspot.com/">Faith like a Child</a>: Amusing notes from another college student<br />
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7. <a href="http://debuskdaily.blogspot.com/">The DeBusk Daily (ish...)</a>: Hilarious peeks into the life of a family in Texas who is growing and learning together.<br />
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So yeah! I'm awesome. All these blogs are awesome. And you should all go see them. :DKatiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01744889690503939568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4177073154272394242.post-16118679557214717582012-01-03T20:39:00.000-06:002012-01-03T20:39:52.145-06:00LivingI can get distracted. And by that, I mean I am very very easily distracted. I literally have the attention span of a squirrel. The dog from Up, Dug, was probably based on me. That's how easily distracted I am. This is especially true in my spiritual life. I go to a conference, I read a verse, I hear a song, something impacts me and inspires me. I start promising myself and God that I will do better, I will work harder, I will be a Child of God who spreads His name to every part of the world. I am determined and I cannot be deterred from my mission. I'm excited; my life is revolutionized! I'm going to make a difference. And then, the real world blindsides me. I have school, boys, friends, drama, demands, responsibilities. They all drown out God's voice and I turn my attention elsewhere. Months go by without a quiet time, weeks go by without opening my Bible. My passion is forgotten and my promises are broken. I wander down my own path and forget the fire I had in that moment, in that one moment so many months ago. Then I happen upon that verse, book, picture and it reminds me of all the promises I made to God. Reality has again pulled me off the right path and I have let myself become distracted by things which seem so incredibly important but they have no eternal purpose or goal. Despite what I may think, my social life does not determine the fate of the world.<br />
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Then, I remember. I remember everything God has done for me. I remember every promise, every blessing, every answered prayer. I am completely humbled by the might of our God and yet he cares about ME. Stupid, annoying, selfish, lazy, incapable and wholly unworthy me. He cares and loves about me and I did NOTHING to deserve. Absolutely completely nothing. I spit in God's face, I nailed His son to the cross and yet He still loves me. STILL. I can't even imagine or fathom that kind of grace and mercy and love. And I have the gall to break my measly promises to be a better disciple. Who do I think I am and what is this sense of importance that I have given myself? I don't deserve God's blessing. I don't even deserve His attention! How dare I even pretend that I am important? What I should do, instead of demanding God do things my way, is fall to my face in awe and wonder of all that He has done. But I don't.<br />
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How do I not get distracted every time something shiny comes along? How can I keep myself focused on the prize that is actually WORTH something and not just the trivial aspects of a teenager in college's life? How can I keep myself from wandering away from that which I know is so important? Why is this so hard for me? I want God to be the center of my life and yet, I have such a difficult time focusing myself on His plan for my life. I can never truly live until I learn how to steady myself on the path He has laid out in front of me. Then the question remains: When will I learn to truly live?<br />
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"Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him." ~ James 1:12Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01744889690503939568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4177073154272394242.post-73681061875649110472011-06-29T12:58:00.000-05:002011-06-29T12:58:07.410-05:00Purgatory?<b>In my personal opinion, Purgatory does not exist. I've been taught this since I was little and my dad would teach me about the tribulation. (yes, my family has discussions on these things regularly.) Up until just recently, all of my friends believed same as I: Purgatory doesn't exist. However, in discussing with a friend these things, I discovered that he believed in Purgatory and we proceeded to get into a long conversation about it. I did a great deal of research on it and then wrote him with my response to his entire premise. I thought I would post it here. If anyone sees something theologically incorrect, I would love to know about it. :)</b><br />
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I've done quite a bit of research about our Purgatory conversation. If you don't mind, I'm going to send you some of my responses. Okay now I'm going to split these thoughts into two different parts: atonement and sanctification.<br />
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First, atonement. Now, we talked a lot about "getting rid" of our sins and you basically say that humans can get rid of their sinful nature on their own. Here's my question: if we can get rid of the very thing that causes us to sin...why did Jesus have to die? If he wasn't the bridge between us and God, if we could rid ourselves of sin without him, then why did God subject Jesus to such an awful death? We already had the "law". We knew what we had to do in order to be perfect. And the Israelites did indeed try to be perfect sometimes. They strove to follow the rules but their sinful nature always got in the way. Another thing: humans cannot be perfect. The only perfect person is Jesus. By saying you can be perfect on your own, you're essentially saying that you can become God. We can only be perfect through God's help. <br />
John 15:5- "Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing."<br />
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Our sins have been TAKEN away. Yes, they are simply "magicked" away by the grace of God. <br />
Isaiah 4:7- "And he touched my mouth and said, 'Behold, this has touched your lip; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for.'" <br />
Hebrews 10:22- "Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water."<br />
Hebrews 9:11-28 (quoted here is specifically v. 26, however, the entire passage does support my point and v. 14 especially.)- "for then he would have had to suffer repeatedly since the foundation of the world. But as it is, he has appeared once for all at the end of the ages to PUT AWAY SIN by the SACRIFICE of HIMSELF." (emphasis mine)<br />
Romans 3:20- "For by works of the law, no human being will be justified in his sight, since through the law comes knowledge of sin."<br />
Romans 4:5- "And to the one who does not work, but trusts him who justifies the ungodly, his faith is counted as righteousness."<br />
Romans 10:13- "For everyone who calls on the name of the lord will be saved."<br />
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All of the above passages support my point: God has taken away our sins through the blood of Jesus Christ. Our sinful NATURE cannot be taken away. Our SIN is gone. And that's my second point underneath atonement; our sinful nature will stay until God removes it in Heaven. Yes, it is, as you say, "magicked" away. It cannot be taken away simply by doing good. Yes, I know you say that then "What is the point of sanctification?", but I will be addressing that later. <br />
Romans 3:10- "As it is written, 'None is righteous, no not one.'"<br />
Psalm 14:3- "They have all turned aside; together they have become corrupt; there is none who does good, not even one."<br />
Psalm 53:3 says basically the same thing. <br />
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Now let's move onto sanctification. Basically, your question is, "If the purpose of sanctification is not to remove your sin/sinful nature, then what IS the purpose?" My answer? The purpose of sanctification is to learn who God is and to make Him known. THAT is the purpose of sanctification. We do good works, not to better ourselves for we all have "fallen short" as John 3:16 says. We do good works to glorify God and to learn more about who He is. It's a learning period, not a purging period. <br />
1 Corinthians 10:31- "So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." (now, in this passage, he was referring to the specific example of eating food that has been offered to you, but the point still stands that your actions and your purpose should be to glorify God.)<br />
Galatians 5:13 and 17- "For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another...For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other to keep you from doing the things you want to do." (point of this passage is two-fold: One, your freedom refers to your release from bondage from sin. Basically, Paul says use your salvation to serve one another NOT to rid yourself of your sinful nature. In fact (and this is the second point), he goes on to say that the "flesh" (referring to your sinful nature) is STILL THERE and it will always be there, battling with your conscience: the Holy Spirit.)<br />
John 15:8- "By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples." (And again, we see Jesus saying that God is glorified through us BEARING FRUIT. And we all know that bearing fruit is referring to the fruits of the Spirit or doing good.)<br />
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I know that you don't have any actual Biblical evidence for Purgatory and I understand that and accept your arguments as valid anyway. However, I did feel that I needed evidence to provide as I am not quite as learned as you in these matters. (so now you know I'm not just making it up basically lol.) Also, I did try to make sure my points made logical sense so that you could also understand the point and see how it countered yours. Anyway, those are my thoughts! Let me know if something doesn't make sense and I'll try to clarify it...Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01744889690503939568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4177073154272394242.post-7546727615473462892011-06-08T21:45:00.000-05:002011-06-08T21:45:34.111-05:00FarewellsI hate goodbyes. They're so final. They close the door on something and force you to move on. Goodbye means forever, eternal, no more. I have had so many goodbyes this year; so many "last" times. It depresses me greatly. Everytime I go through something else, I can't help but think this is the "last" time. All of my classmates see graduation as an exciting experience. They look to the future with hopeful grins. All I can do is look at what I'm leaving behind. All the people, the experiences, the memories, yes, even the work. I know that nothing will ever be the same ever again. It saddens me to no end. I hate it. Sometimes it depresses me so much, I feel like crying. I just have to ignore it and move on. The funny thing is, no one else seems to feel the same way. At graduation, everyone would come up and smile and hug and cry excitedly. I spent the entire time in a daze, trying to figure out why everyone was so excited. I hated every moment of graduation. I hated every time someone would send me a card telling me "congratulations!". Why are they congratulating me? I'M LEAVING. And I hate it. I look around my room and see trophies that weren't won, books that weren't read, A's that weren't achieved. I see faces in pictures that I will never see again. I see accomplishments that will never be achieved. I see opportunities never mastered. To me, graduation symbolizes death. Death of a life that will never be lived again.<br />
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All of this makes me feel empty. Completely empty. I force myself to smile and laugh and carry on but it's fake. false. delusional. almost maniacal sometimes. I feel crazy. I feel like screaming and collapsing. I feel like falling down and crying out until someone hears me. My disguise is so well placed that I don't even recognize my pain. I don't even understand how badly I hurt inside. And yet...why do I hurt? Why do I have pain? What trauma caused this utter despair that I feel?<br />
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Life hurts. It's part of being human. We're so fragile. So frail. So easily broken. Our minds are blindsided by strong emotions like rage and hurt. Everytime you turn on the tv, you see stories of people dying, killing one another in brutal ways and going insane. I hurt for my world. I hurt for the people I see on the street. I hurt for my friends. I hurt for my family. I just want it to stop. I want everyone to stop hurting, stop having trouble, stop crying. When will it ever stop?<br />
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<b>"Maranatha!"</b> my soul cries out in anguish. Oh, Lord. Maranatha is my cry.Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01744889690503939568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4177073154272394242.post-23210866225713058052011-05-26T01:03:00.000-05:002011-05-26T01:03:20.971-05:00RadicalI'm reading this amazing new book called "Radical" by David Platt. It's really amazing and I'm learning a lot from it. He talks about how our Christianity has been put into a nice little box for our nice little culture. We can't make Christianity seem unappealing, we can't make it sound hard, we can't be straightforward with people about it. According to our culture, it's all about the advertisement. He goes back into Scripture and shows us how Jesus was quite blunt. "Take up his cross and follow me" doesn't exactly sound fun. In those days, a cross was a torture device. So basically, Jesus was telling people "take up this torture device and follow me"..............oh yay. That sounds like SO much fun. The Bible even tells us that Jesus had very few followers. 120 was the max by the end of his time on the Earth. Christianity is hard, it's dangerous, it can even be scary at times. But, the point is, it's worth it.<br />
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How many religions in the world depict God actually coming down to the humans to make life possible for them? None. How many of them show such love and sacrifice as Jesus did for us? None. Christianity is completely unique in the fact that GOD showed us such love and mercy. Our religion is one of mercy and grace. Most other religions require fear or works. Our religion requires commitment and love. Jesus actually allowed himself to be fully exposed to ALL of God's wrath towards sin. Let's put it like David Platt does. Imagine yourself looking at a huge dam from the bottom of it. Suddenly, the dam breaks and all the water starts pouring out at you, like a huge hurricane ready to suck you to your doom. But then the ground opens up and swallows the entirety of the water. All of that raging death has been taken by something else. Jesus swallowed all of God's wrath for us. He took that punishment because he loved us so much. Agonizing torture was the least of his worries that night. That really hit me. I could've been the one to endure that. Living in the darkness, never feeling God's love and guidance. But Jesus took that for me. He was willing even though he knew how much it would hurt. It makes me wonder if I would do the same. Until the answer is, "yes", I need to keep becoming more like Jesus. I will never be perfect but I must be willing to lay down my life for his cause. Only then can I truly become a radical Christian.<br />
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"And he said to all, <span class="woc">“If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.</span>"" ~Luke 9:23Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01744889690503939568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4177073154272394242.post-39381898987901900902011-05-18T15:54:00.000-05:002011-05-18T15:54:59.736-05:00Complications"Make it complicated. I like complications." - Jamie from <u>The Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler</u>. <br />
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Whenever I think of my life, I always think of that quote. No matter what, it always seems like my life just gets so complicated! Nothing is simple and straightforward...no, that would be too easy. If there's one thing I know how to do, it's how to make things complicated. For example, I can't take a normal essay and just write it. Nope, I have to create a thesis, think about the implications of the thesis, write down all the points that support that thesis (with subpoints of course) and then extrapolate all of those points and subpoints to ensure I'm not saying something wrong. And that's just to write my outline! Fortunately, this only takes maybe 10-20 minutes but still. How many steps does writing an outline really need?<br />
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I make my relationships complicated too. I can't simply enjoy a day with my family. I have to create conflict somewhere at sometime. Don't ask me why! I have no idea why I need conflict. I seem to feed off of it or something. o.O yes, I know that's weird. But I do! I think because it puts me in control of the situation or something. Oh yeah, that's another thing that's complicated. I always need control. I'm also very nosy and when you put those two together....well let's just say I'm often right in the center of drama. I don't often start it and it's almost never my fault. I'm just always mixed up in it somehow! I have no idea how/why. It just happens. Everywhere I go, things seem to get more complicated. I don't know if that's normal but it's how my life has always worked. It would be fine if I knew HOW TO DEAL WITH IT. But I don't. I'm a simple person. I like lists and I like instructions. I like knowing what to do and how to do it and when to do it. Unfortunately, when things get complicated, instructions get complicated. The way things work gets complicated. I don't like it and I'm not quite sure how to deal with it. <br />
<br />
So anyway. On a more enjoyable note, I have officially become obsessed with Doctor Who. I always liked it but I never really watched it in earnest until now. I have completed Seasons 1, 4-6. :D (I haven't watched Seasons 2 and 3 because I don't like Rose and I don't like Martha.) I would just like to take a moment and say that David Tennant happens to be one of the most amazing people on this planet and he was the best Doctor. Ever. No question. I love Amy and I love Rory but I'm not so sure about the Matt Smith version of the Doctor. He's growing on me though. Anyway, that's my little geeky moment. :)Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01744889690503939568noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4177073154272394242.post-8276508046349785502011-05-04T11:58:00.000-05:002011-05-04T11:58:21.708-05:00SecretsWell today I thought I would just post 20 things about myself that not very many people know. :) They'll just be kinda random things about me. I didn't feel like trying to sort through graduation and all that stuff right now. Maybe next week....<br />
<br />
1. I can only draw swords. I can't draw faces or trees or anything else.<br />
2. Words of affirmation and touch are my love languages.<br />
3. I am INCREDIBLY controlling.<br />
4. I'm self conscious.<br />
5. Well okay there are parts of me that I adore but then again there are parts that I'm not so sure about. :/<br />
6. I do actually like the occasional chick flick (SHHH!! DONT TELL ANYONE!!!). I hate most of them because they have little plotline and no common sense but there are a few that I appreciate.<br />
7. I'm a fraidy cat. :P<br />
8. I love reading. But not just reading lame modern books, I love reading stuff like the Scarlet Pimpernel and the Count of Monte Cristo.<br />
9. I'm actually kinda violent.<br />
10. I'm scared to death that I'm not as brilliant as all the professionals tell me.<br />
11. I've always wanted to either learn Irish or Native American dancing.<br />
12. I adore public speaking. So.much.<br />
13. I would love to learn some form of martial arts.<br />
14. My lifelong dream has been to be an actress but that's not going to happen.<br />
15. I'm really self conscious about my voice. <br />
16. I love playing the piano and singing throughout my house.<br />
17. I'm really trusting.<br />
18. I've been hurt a lot because of number 18.<br />
19. I often feel very lonely.<br />
20. I don't submit to any kind of authority well at all....<br />
<br />
So that's just a couple of things about me! :) After this weekend maybe I can go a little deeper and check out some of the things God's been teaching me lately. (NOTE: these are not fun lessons :/)<br />
<br />
<div class="indent line" id="p20022019_01-1">"Incline your ear, and hear the words of the wise, and apply your heart to my knowledge,<span class="verse-num inline" id="v20022018-1"></span><span class="verse-num inline" id="v20022018-1"></span> for it will be pleasant if you keep them within you, if all of them are ready on your lips.<span class="verse-num inline" id="v20022019-1"> </span>That your trust may be in the <span class="small-caps">Lord</span>, I have made them known to you today, even to you." ~Proverbs 22:17-19</div>Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01744889690503939568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4177073154272394242.post-74772724903188433232011-05-03T18:49:00.000-05:002011-05-03T18:49:01.952-05:00NewsWell for this post, I'm going to talk about something a little bit different. I'm going to address the recent death of Osama Bin Laden. But before I do that, I want to quickly say that my college trip to Liberty University when fatastically and I have felt God leading me to go there. So I will be attending Liberty University next fall. :) Now that that's been taken care of, let's talk about Osama.<br />
<br />
First off, I am ecstatic he is dead. I've seen a lot of my friends talking about how we should never be happy someone is dead and that as Christians, we should have mercy on him. I completely disagree. How many more people should have been allowed to die through his hand? He was not an innocent man and he did deserve death. If someone attacks our country and threatens thousands of lives, we should not stand back in the name of mercy! Our country must be preserved in order to save those innocent lives. Its a hard decision, yes, and we definitely should pity him as he faces Judgment now. However, his death is welcome and necessary. It is not a death; it is a triumph of good over evil. Saying that this is not a good thing is like saying Hiroshima was not a necessary action. Now I understand that that too is controversial, but again, it was necessary to protect more lives from being taken! Sometimes you have to choose between death and more death in policy. When those choices are presented, you have to choose the one that preserves the most life. That is the choice America made in both instances and it is the right choice. We are not celebrating a death, we are celebrating the conservation of more life. Those who say we should not be proud of America are wrong and quite frankly, make my blood boil. We triumphed over the Bin Laden. We triumphed over Al Qaeda. We triumphed over evil.<br />
<br />
Moving onto another topic that is very near and dear to my heart, General Petraeus' appointment to the CIA. Most people look at it as completely political and scoff at Obama and blah, blah, blah. I find it quite amazing. Why? Well in case you didn't know, I want to work for the CIA after grad school. And Petraeus is one of my personal heroes. He is a military genius and rather conservative. I've never met him personally, mind you, but I look up to him quite a bit. So, working under him in the CIA would be a dream.come.true. :) I honestly don't care about the political reasoning behind it (which is probably bad...but whatever!).<br />
<br />
so anyway. That's just my personal take on two news stories right now. :) Sorry if you were expecting something deep today. ;)Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01744889690503939568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4177073154272394242.post-1357927884127292012011-04-23T13:32:00.000-05:002011-04-23T13:32:58.248-05:00FrustrationWell, I've decided its about time that I talked to the internet people about this. I'm really frustrated right now about two things.<br />
1. College. I hate this decision. I thought it was going to be so easy for me. I've known where I wanted to go for about seven years now: Patrick Henry College. God apparently has other plans because I am getting minimal scholarships from them. Sure, I can still go there but I have to clean out all of my savings and my parent's savings as well. I can't ask my parents to do that! Their financial security should not have to be unstable simply because I want to go a college. Besides, there's no guarantee that next year they would grant me enough scholarships to attend another year. PHC was looking worse and worse when Liberty University came and offered me $25,000 in scholarships. That's nearly a full ride! I was worried until I found out Liberty and PHC were two of the three colleges in the nation that had my major: Strategic Intelligence. So, I decided I was going to Liberty. The only problem is that a friend who I trust (and who is a lot like me) told me that Liberty wasn't a good environment for me. He said that Liberty was shallow, the teachers are not the leading experts and that the program for my major isn't as good as PHC's. So now...I'm confused! I want to succeed and PHC is looking like that would be the place to push me into the forefront of my field. But do I really risk my family's financial security simply so I can fulfill a dream? No. I can't.<br />
<br />
2. Friends. I have a very dear friend. (Let's call her Sally for the sake of brevity) I love Sally dearly but she has been frustrating from the beginning of the year. Debate is very important to me. Very very important. I work constantly on debate; writing briefs, brainstorming ideas, strengthening my case, researching Russia. In my three years of debate experience, I have never once had a good/great/hardworking partner. (Well except for once and that was a different style of debate). Honestly, I'm getting frustrated. Every teampolicy and (up until this last tournament) every parliamentary round I have ever debated was stressful. I am always the one carrying my team in finals or semifinals. Never once has my partner thought of a good argument on their own or been as good a speaker as I am. I'm discouraged every time I debate because there is so much pressure on me. Instead of the pressure being split between the partners, it all falls on me. If I mess up, that's it. The round's over. We've lost. There's no chance for redemption, no safety net. It's done. It may not effect other people, but I feel that strain. I want to succeed, in fact, I need to succeed for debate scholarships! But I'm always scared that I'll mess it up and then it'll be over. It's killing me that I can't find a partner that cares as much as I do. I adore debate but I hate debating. It's a horrible dilemma that I can't seem to get out of. My partner this year has told me multiple times that she hates debate, she doesn't ever want to debate again and that she doesn't care about debate. THIS KILLS ME. There's no incentive for her to do well or to work harder and so she doesn't. I, again, carry my team forward, killing myself in the process.<br />
<br />
This same partner has recently been grounded because of some bad choices. <b>(NOTE: The next paragraph may not seem to make sense and be really petty. But it's how I feel so here goes...)</b> At first, it looked like we weren't going to be able to compete at Nationals. Through the grace of God, her parents finally allowed her to go. I was talking to her and she told me that she is only grounded for two weeks and then she has limited access at Nationals. Now before I can really explain why I'm upset, let me give you a little background: I lied to my parents about a relationship two years ago. When they found out, I was dead. I had no life for seven months and I learned my lesson well. I have never lied since then. This situation my partner is in is ten times worse. However, she's only grounded for TWO WEEKS???? This is so upsetting because 1) SHES NOT LEARNING ANYTHING (she was grounded once before for doing this and it was LONGER than two weeks. That situation was much less severe than this one) and 2) She put me through hell and she's not even getting punished????? That may seem really really petty and mean but I'm just frustrated. I wasted my pity on her, feeling sorry for the situation, trying to make her feel better for WHAT? being grounded for two weeks??? That's not worth my pity! Or my time!<br />
<br />
So now, yes, I'm frustrated. I feel rather betrayed and there is even ANOTHER situation with a former partner who believes I've betrayed her when I've done nothing. It's caused even more drama and it's pushed me to the point where I want to just stay in my room, curled up on my bed, and NEVER COME OUT. EVER. But the thing about this is, I can't tell anyone about this! Telling my parents is like suicide, telling my friends will only create a bigger rift and more drama, and telling my sister is laughable. All I can do is push my emotions down inside me and continue as I've done all year, just ignoring the world and hoping I don't explode. Who knew that you can survive despite being a psychological mess?<br />
<br />
"A man of many companions may come to ruin, <br />
<div class="indent line" id="p20018024_10-1">but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." ~Proverbs 18:24</div>Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01744889690503939568noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4177073154272394242.post-36260351551595172872011-04-21T01:04:00.000-05:002011-04-21T01:04:03.220-05:00"The Song"The notes dance across the page,<br />
Rolling like the green hills outside.<br />
Soaring and Singing.<br />
Dancing, Weaving.<br />
Intertwining hope and love,<br />
In a world that has none.<br />
<br />
The violins sing their song.<br />
Unique and Delicate.<br />
It rises into each heart<br />
That hears the sound.<br />
Beauty unbridled, untainted.<br />
Darkness is not welcome here.<br />
<br />
The piano sings its song.<br />
Loud and triumphant.<br />
It brings inspiration,<br />
Filling the room.<br />
Bringing courage, strength.<br />
Darkness is not welcome here.<br />
<br />
The drums sing their song.<br />
Slow and steady.<br />
Never missing a beat,<br />
Setting the tone for all.<br />
Rising steadily, slowly.<br />
Darkness is not welcome here.<br />
<br />
The chorus sings their song.<br />
Wild and pure.<br />
Giving an air of freedom,<br />
Becoming irresistable.<br />
Pulling dangerously, ferociously.<br />
Darkness is not welcome here.<br />
<br />
The notes dance across the page,<br />
Rolling like the green hills outside.<br />
Soaring and Singing.<br />
Dancing, Weaving.<br />
Intertwining hope and love,<br />
In a world that is now,<br />
Blessed.Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01744889690503939568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4177073154272394242.post-23462022488521329832011-04-21T00:04:00.002-05:002011-04-21T00:31:30.056-05:00Momentary<span class="text_exposed_show">"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two." ~St. Augustine</span><br />
<br />
<span class="text_exposed_show">The quote above is so true! As a teenage girl, I can get so caught up in the feelings of the moment. I forget that I am a hormonal girl that doesn't necessarily always look ahead. I'm always right here, right now. If I ever believe that I've "falling in love", I just have to come back to this quote and remember that love is a choice. It's not a mushy feeling, its not the flip your stomach does, its not the weakness in your knees. Its an everyday decision to put someone else's well being before your own. Before I can learn to do that, I do not deserve the love of another. </span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show"><br />
</span><br />
"But the steadfast love of the <span class="small-caps">Lord</span> is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him, <br />
<div class="indent line" id="p19103017_01-1">and his righteousness to children's children." ~Psalm 103:17</div>Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01744889690503939568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4177073154272394242.post-52702658384433985942011-04-03T12:45:00.000-05:002011-04-03T12:45:44.276-05:00ChillI am a student leader for the middle school youth group at my church. Today my youth pastor, Will, was talking about simply "chilling out". He said we get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that we forget to chill. That really spoke to me in a way that I had never thought of before. No matter what I am doing, I am always talking with SOMEONE. I could be alone in my room and still on facebook and skype and texting all at the same time. I never take time to simply breathe and listen to God anymore. It's all about my social life. My grades are even hurting because of it. Facebook and skype come before everything else and that's not how my life should be. I have been wondering why I feel exhausted and out of touch lately and God gave me the answer today. I have slowly drifted away from what I was meant to do with these last few months of my high school years. Technology is amazing but I have let it come between me and God. That can't happen, especially when I'm trying to figure out what college to go to.<br />
<br />
I need to take a break. I'm getting off facebook and skype for two weeks. By that time, it will be the last tournament of STOAtx for the year: PITOC. Hopefully, I will be able to get back on facebook and skype without getting distracted. If not, I'll just take it away from myself again. I can't allow myself to stay in the rut I am in now. I have to listen to God and get back to where we were. Without his guidance in these pivotal few months of my life, I could make some seriously wrong decisions. I can't and shouldn't allow myself to do that. I'll just chill and who knows? Maybe I can even clean out my room as a result. :)<br />
<br />
Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God."Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01744889690503939568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4177073154272394242.post-8313248642675338512011-02-04T22:20:00.000-06:002011-02-04T22:20:49.780-06:00ConfusionThis post won't be so much what God has taught me as asking questions. I know that this will be a little weird, but of course I'm a hormonal teenage girl. ;) I wrote this a little while ago, asking some questions and just thinking through my feelings right now. I'm not sure what's going to happen and I have definitely changed the names.<br />
<br />
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<div class="MsoNormal">I don’t know what to do. I’m leaving in six months. I’ll have a whole different life in Virginia. But, I don’t want to leave him. Staying isn’t an option and he’s most certainly not going to keep in touch! Mom won’t be there to bridge the gap. He’s so absent-minded…it’s one of the things I love about him but it certainly doesn’t help in this situation. Why can’t I be less possessive? Why can’t I just leave this up to God? I mean, I want to trust Him. And I know that He will have the best man possible in mind for me…I just want it to be Debater. I could actually see myself being so happy with Debater forever and ever but I’m not sure if that’s what God has planned for me. I know I am attracted to him and I don’t actually think anybody knows exactly how intense it has become. I know that Debater thinks I’m nice and probably a little weird but to the extent of my knowledge, that’s as far as it goes. If we could keep in contact over the next year, I would be thrilled. If he came to PHC, I would be ecstatic. If we did (by some weird happenstance) date and get married……my life would be so much better (I think). I think I love Debater. But I’m 17!!! What do I know of love? All I know is that I would do anything for him. Maybe that’s dangerous, I don’t know. All I know is what I feel. But hey, I don’t know anything. This could be obsession; this could be love. I wouldn’t know the difference. He could be incredibly frustrated with me or he could adore me, I STILL wouldn’t know the difference! I’m inexperienced and have no one to talk to. I know that I need to focus on God and seek Him first. It’s so hard though! Debater keeps getting in the way. If God told me no, I think I could understand. But the thing is that I don’t know if God’s telling me no! Maybe it’s my fault, but I just don’t know. I just….I just want a definite no. I know that simply means He has something better in mind and I accept that. I just want to know!!!!!!!!! I want to know who. I hate suspense and I hate just waiting. I know it builds trust and I know I just am supposed to trust God but it’s so hard! I just wish someone would just tell me what to do. I don’t want to screw everything up but I don’t want to let go of Debater. I almost know what I need to do but I just…………find it so hard. </div><div class="MsoNormal">Proverbs 3:5-7- "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and turn away from evil."</div><div class="MsoNormal">God, help me to trust in you with everything I am. Help me to forget my desires and my will so that I can follow your desire and your will for my life. Let me not be wise by my standards, but by your standards. Lead me, guide me, and make straight my path.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Amen.</div>Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01744889690503939568noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4177073154272394242.post-3668892917594225272011-01-17T22:45:00.000-06:002011-01-17T22:45:23.368-06:00WaltzingI never want life to become an endless circle of monotony. I want to wake up every morning knowing that it is a new day with new experiences. I want to waltz through life, dance through every day, and laugh at trouble. I've never been one for depression and feeling sorry for myself. Waltzing always seemed beautiful and wonderful to me; especially now. I think going through life trying to be as graceful and beautiful as a perfectly executed waltz is exactly what people should do. Keeping in time with the music God has provided and letting him twirl you around and around on the dance floor is exhilarating and fulfilling.<br />
<br />
I've always had problems submitting. My personality likes to take charge and lead the way. I was learning to waltz just the other day and my instructor kept telling me "NO let ME lead!".I found this a metaphor for how I live my life. I'm constantly trying to pull God in the direction that I want to go, pretending that that is the way that would make the waltz most beautiful. All it does is mess up the dance and cause it to fall apart. When we try to pretend like we are in charge and know what is best for our lives, our life falls apart. Only when we submit to God's authority and let him lead us through the dance can our life actually become graceful and beautiful like it should be. <br />
<br />
I'm sitting in my room (which is now clean!) and just looking around at my walls. I have a billion pictures, nametags, posters, drawings and other memorabilia hanging. As I look around and remember events and people, I realize how far I have come in the last few years of my life. I've changed so much. However, I haven't made me into what I am. It has been my experiences and the people in my life that have molded me into the person I have become. So many people try to forget the past, but I feel that the past is a wonderful thing to be remembered and enjoyed. God gave us memories so that we could remember past experiences; both to laugh at and to learn from. I hope I never forget those who have influenced me so greatly and the amazing times I have had with my friends in my high school years. I love them so much.<br />
<br />
Life is meant to be enjoyed and remembered. We were not created to spend our lives hiding or depressed. Waltzing through life with God as your dance partner can only lead to joy and blessings. Who wouldn't love that?Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01744889690503939568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4177073154272394242.post-68468984945417142392010-10-31T16:23:00.000-05:002010-10-31T16:23:53.143-05:00DecisionsSorry I haven't posted in a while. I'm a senior this year and my life has been very busy applying for colleges, trying to survive the classes I'm taking, and working through debate tournaments. This year has been very successful so far in debate. My partner and I won third at the last tournament and I won fifth place in speaker points. I also won fourth place in impromptu speaking and third place in parliamentary debate speaker points. My classes have been going well. I am currently enrolled in a college class from PHC. It is SO hard but with God's grace, I am getting through it.<br />
<br />
Unfortunately, in the last several weeks, some things have been coming up that have really tested my patience and maturity. I had a friend who accused me of something I didn't do and another friend lie to an authority figure. Both of these circumstances have been dealt with but I am still left worried. In the first situation, my relationship with that friend has become rocky. I know that she is immature and is just acting on her emotions, but it still frustrates me. I had to make the decision whether it was worth it to stick around and work it out or just walk away and let the relationship grow cold. My mom made some of the decision for me (she worked it out with the mom...hopefully) but I really decided that a close relationship would only bring me down instead of building up my maturity. That was a hard decision. Yes, I will remain friends with her but we won't be trading secrets.<br />
In the other situation, a friend (who is a middle school student leader with me at my church) lied to an authority figure about a circumstance and what she was going to do. In front of the middle school girls that we lead. I was shocked and it bothered me for the rest of the party. Eventually, I had to make the decision about what to do. I decided going to the authority figure and telling him the truth was the best thing to do. So I did that next morning. It was hard and I'm still worried about what's going to happen but I know I did the right thing.<br />
<br />
In the next few months, I'm going to have to make a lot of decisions about my future and the kind of person I am going to become. It's going to be hard and they will be big decisions but I know that with God's help and guidance I will make the right choice. I just hope I will know what that right choice is when the time comes.Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01744889690503939568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4177073154272394242.post-48632604104487839192010-07-12T12:53:00.000-05:002010-07-12T12:53:45.264-05:00Sunshine<div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Have you ever stopped and looked at the sunshine? How beautiful it is....how shiny and invigorating as it shines. Butterflies and ice cream. Pineapple and music. I love thinking about things that make me smile. Life is a beautiful and joyful thing. I love dancing in the soft summer rain and listening to Owl City. </div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Sorry. That was kinda random but I'm in a whimsical mood today. I miss my debate friends and my summer is full of debate. I'm sitting with my Parliamentary partner on my couch just playing on facebook and reading some poems. I found this great one that I love that I wanted to share with you.</div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">To Autumn by John Keats:</div><pre><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I</span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness,</span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> Close bosom-friend of the maturing sun;</span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Conspiring with him how to load and bless</span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> With fruit the vines that round the thatch-eves run;</span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">To bend with apples the moss’d cottage-trees,</span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> And fill all fruit with ripeness to the core;</span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> To swell the gourd, and plump the hazel shells</span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> With a sweet kernel; to set budding more,</span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">And still more, later flowers for the bees,</span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Until they think warm days will never cease,</span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> For Summer has o’er-brimm’d their clammy cells.</span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">II</span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Who hath not seen thee oft amid thy store?</span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> Sometimes whoever seeks abroad may find</span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Thee sitting careless on a granary floor,</span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> Thy hair soft-lifted by the winnowing wind;</span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Or on a half-reap’d furrow sound asleep,</span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> Drows’d with the fume of poppies, while thy hook</span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> Spares the next swath and all its twined flowers:</span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">And sometimes like a gleaner thou dost keep</span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> Steady thy laden head across a brook;</span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> Or by a cyder-press, with patient look,</span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> Thou watchest the last oozings hours by hours.</span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">III</span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Where are the songs of Spring? Ay, where are they?</span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> Think not of them, thou hast thy music too,—</span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">While barred clouds bloom the soft-dying day,</span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> And touch the stubble-plains with rosy hue;</span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Then in a wailful choir the small gnats mourn</span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> Among the river sallows, borne aloft</span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> Or sinking as the light wind lives or dies;</span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">And full-grown lambs loud bleat from hilly bourn;</span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> Hedge-crickets sing; and now with treble soft</span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> The red-breast whistles from a garden-croft;</span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> And gathering swallows twitter in the skies.</span></pre><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I think it is so beautiful. Anyway, I'm sorry I haven't really written much. I'll try to do better.</span>Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01744889690503939568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4177073154272394242.post-69360724786824249872010-05-20T23:10:00.000-05:002010-05-20T23:10:42.397-05:00SummerWell, I have finished school for the year! Unfortunately, none of my debate team is going to Nationals so that means that speech and debate is over for the year too. We are having our end-of-the-year party on Saturday so we're all really excited! This summer will be incredibly busy for me. I am going to three different debate camps and hopefully working one more. I will also be attending a family camp and a church camp. I'm looking for a job too. I will also be trying to start a Bible Study with a few of my friends over the summer. So, to sum it all up, this summer will be busy yet full of opportunity. I would appreciate prayers as I go throughout this summer. It will probably be strenuous and full of a lot of trying situations. I am also trying to decide who my debate partner is going to be next year. I have several options but trying to pick the right one....the one that God wants me to partner with....will not be easy. So, I'm hoping I will know how to make the right decision with God's help! Thanks for reading! :)Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01744889690503939568noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4177073154272394242.post-74224867708057942912010-05-12T23:55:00.000-05:002010-05-12T23:55:37.484-05:00LonelinessHave you ever felt like you were the only person on this planet that cared....about anything? That everyone else seems to be chasing after things you haven't ever wanted? That you seem to be the only one that understood there may be more depth and more life and more....just well MORE to our existence than what everyone else wants? If so, you are not alone. Lately, as the debate season has come to a close for me, I have felt that I must now be isolated from the people that understood me. I'm not a frivolous empty headed person who is satisfied with the world. I don't like swallowing what other people hand to me on a platter. I like thinking and feeling and working passionately and with my whole being. I can't be shallow. Its impossible. And therefore, I am alone.<br />
<br />
I am the only ME on this planet. I am the only me with my personality, name, and feelings. And because I am so unique, no one in my entire life has fully understood my passions and loves. Because of who I am, I am a dangerous combination who must be careful in everything I say and do. People are so shallow these days that no one seems to care about how things are perceived or even how actions can be taken the wrong way. Selfishness abounds and shallow love, even more. Only a few still hold on to those "outdated" beliefs that life was meant to be more than what I want. Life is meant to be something beautiful, to be enjoyed. And those of us who still cling to the old ways, the laws of chivalry, the laws of grace, of kindness, of selfless love, are outcasts. Even in my small world, I know that I am alone. Yet I choose to remain untainted by the world. I choose to remain who I am. I choose to remain loyal to what I believe life should be. Will you?Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01744889690503939568noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4177073154272394242.post-16633148073951036682010-03-30T14:13:00.000-05:002010-03-30T14:13:54.312-05:00ReflectionsWell, this is my *humble*opinion of the two colleges I have visited- Patrick Henry College and King’s College. <br />
<br />
Lets start with King’s. King’s College is located in the heart of NYC. It is in the Empire State Building and has several hundred students. They offer three majors- politics philosophy and economics, media culture and the arts, and business management. Their academics program is very rigorous and focuses heavily on business, journalism, and film production. They have ample opportunity for internships in NYC in all three of those. I went to one class and it left me confused and bored. It was supposed to be a politics class, but the professor didn’t even talk about politics! He was discussing a book about Sparta they were reading. Towards the end of the class, he did start talking about different choices the king made and why they were good or bad but until then, I was incredibly confused. The professors are nice, energetic, and have a well-developed sense of humor. The college does not have normal housing. They have apartments of three instead of the usual dorms. Also, they do not have a meal plan, so you must buy your own groceries and make a meal plan. The people are nice, but very glamorous. If you are a fashion diva who wants to change the world…..King’s is the college for you! Most of them are from public schools and do not know how to speak, write, and read analytically and with a Christian worldview. King’s does not offer a lot of extra-curricular activities. They have a debate team (but there is limited space with a LOOOOONG waiting list) and a theatre club. That is all but there are ample opportunities throughout NYC to get involved. Most of the students I talked to liked King’s because it “treated them like they were adults” and because of the hard classes. <br />
<br />
King’s has two major drawbacks that I saw. The first is the glamour. Because it is in NYC, it attracts a certain kind of person. A nice person, but a person who is not at all like me. It is definitely for people who like fashion, shopping, and living in a very shallow city. The second drawback that I think is incredibly serious is their lack of emphasis on spiritual growth. They do not have chapel, small groups, worship, or any kind of gathering to worship God. It would be very easy for a teenager to lose their faith in such an environment. King’s has an emphasis on academics, not spiritual growth. The students themselves pointed this out several times. Another drawback that is more personal is the emphasis on business and media. I want to go into politics and King’s does not deal with politics hardly at all. It is not the environment I am looking for. <br />
<br />
Lets move on to PHC. PHC is located in a small town in Virginia right outside of DC. It has a few hundred students and is only slightly smaller than King’s. They offer several politics majors, a literature major, a strategic intelligence major, and (most recently) a music major. They too have a very rigorous academic program. However, the two classes I visited were interesting and left me wanting more. Even though I came in the middle and wasn’t quite sure where the class had been, I still understood most of it and left intrigued. The professors are kind, intelligent, interesting and VERY willing to help you at any time. PHC has spacious dorms (not very large but spacious nonetheless) that normally have three people in them. They have a normal meal plan as well which is not as bad as other colleges. The food always contains a wide variety and is surprisingly delicious! All of the people at PHC are like me or very close. We have the same interests and ideas. 80% of the people who go to PHC are homeschooled which makes for a very different and not unpleasant experience. They have similar focus and I do not feel like an abnormal “nerdy” homeschooler. PHC offers a multitude of extra-curricular activities. They offer worship team, a variety of sports, theatre, different music options, tutoring, newspaper staff, different jobs around campus, debate and speech, moot court, mock trial, and more. All of the students I talked to said they went to Patrick Henry because “God told me that was where I was supposed to go” and because “Patrick Henry helps us change the world even while we are in college”. <br />
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The only drawback that I heard from students and that I saw was that it is indeed a very small college. Everyone knows everything that is happening in your life. That’s hard when you really don’t want people interfering. However, PHC has such a great environment and such a great emphasis on spiritual growth and developing relationships before academics that I feel it is the right college for me. All the faculty said that they were giving us the opportunity to change the world in college. We become world movers even while we are still young and that is what I have wanted to do. I feel like I can go to PHC as myself and be immediately accepted and feel at home. Unfortunately, if I went to King’s, I would feel like I had to change myself to be like the people around me. I would need to become a “city girl” to fit in. I would also probably lose my faith because of the environment I would be in. The faculty at King’s made the point that they were EQUIPPING students to become world changers when they go out on their own. This is not what I am looking for. I want to change the world NOW. <br />
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In conclusion, King’s is a great school. I would recommend looking at it and making sure it wasn’t for you, but if you are anything like me (nerd who would like to change the world in the area of politics) then I would sincerely discourage going to King’s.Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01744889690503939568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4177073154272394242.post-91214043713455789872010-03-22T18:41:00.001-05:002010-03-22T18:41:07.299-05:00Well i am in Virginia right now. Currently, at this moment, I am heading back from visiting Patrick Henry College. Its an amazing college with wonderful people. I will blog more details later! Thank you all for your prayers. :DKatiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01744889690503939568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4177073154272394242.post-6611215411974486022010-03-03T20:58:00.000-06:002010-03-03T20:58:10.853-06:00College"It was the best of times....it was the worst of times...."<br />
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Charles Dickens could have only been talking about one thing. Something that pervades every junior and senior's life. That's right! The search for college. Unfortunately, this is a long and perilous journey that is fraught with people who would like to take your money just so they can instill their opinions into your heads for the rest of your life. Sounds like a good investment to me! not. Well I will be heading out in two weeks to check out two colleges, King's College in New York City and Patrick Henry College in Purcellville, Virginia. I've already decided PHC is where I want to go but the parents say I have to look at some others. Its kinda scary, thinking I'll be at college in less than a year and a half.....But I'm ready!<br />
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Watch out world! Here comes me.Katiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01744889690503939568noreply@blogger.com1